Scars and Stars
by Apothecary Princess
Summary: SasuNaru, AU. Naruto gets talked into thinking he's no good for Sasuke, and tried to shut him out. Will it work? Will Sasuke give up? Self harm, slight yaoi. Rated as a precaution.
1. Prologue

_HIYA ~  
Jeez, it's been a while, ne?  
Well, here we go. SasuNaru~ Probably chaptered, but not quite sure as of yet. Any suggestions? Feedback = love, as per usual.  
Review, please? I have this condition where I can't update unless people review. Sad but true. Honest._

**Warning: This fanfiction contains self harm. If this offends you in any way please do not read it, or do not act like you have not been warned. It is not especially graphic, but may be upsetting to younger.. people... viewers... you get it, right?**

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto, not me, yada yada. All I own right now is a jelly baby.**

"Leave me alone, you bastard."

"But Naruto, I don't know what I've do-"

That was all he heard before he slammed the door. Slumping against it, he slid down the wall. The tears that he had felt welling up inside him all afternoon overflowed. The thoughts that he never wanted to think came welling up and out of his throat in one feral scream that made the sound of Sasuke pounding at the door seem quiet.

He clawed at his throat, his face, any spare piece of skin that he could reach. His nails were blunt and didn't feel sharp enough against his skin. He needed something- something to remind himself that he was still alive. He wasn't stupid, but he needed something to hang onto. He needed….

Well, this was the point where he normally ran to Sasuke. The raven haired boy could make his desperation for pain fade, abating until it eventually disappeared. He could convince himself that he didn't need the pain, as long as he was safe in the raven's arms.

That was what he'd realised though. He clung to Sasuke. He was needy, pathetic, weak- all of the things that his lover detested. How could he be loved if he embodied all that his lover hated, because of said lover? How could he ever be what he needed to be if he clung to people for support? How could he ever be anything but a burden?

This was all too much. He felt hyper aware. He could feel the blood coursing through his veins, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Impatiently he lifted a hand to wipe them away- he shouldn't cry. He had to be strong. He was Naruto Uzumaki- the scholarship student, the clever, strong, feisty and idiotic freshman. He shouldn't be dependant. He shouldn't need to cling to other people.

He was only a burden, and he realised that.

Sasuke pounded on the thick oak door, biting his lip. He wouldn't allow himself to cry now, he just wouldn't. Naruto needed help; it wasn't a time for him to be selfish. His left fist was an angry red colour, the skin objecting to the repeated blows. His right hand hung by his side, bloody and weak. But he wouldn't stop hammering.

All he knew was that Naruto was upset. And an upset Naruto was one prone to do stupid things. Especially with his past, to say Sasuke was uneasy about leaving him alone in his distraught state would be an understatement. He just needed the dobe to open the fucking door…

"Naruto…"

His voice was horse from yelling, but there was little he could do about it. He knew the dobe could hear him, he just knew it. But there came no answer- the door remained shut. Sasuke was getting worried- seriously worried. Fiddling in his pocket, he searched for anything that he could find to pick the lock. He needed o know that Naruto was alright- that his Naruto was alright. Fuck it, he needed Naruto. The dobe was the one thing that made him get up in the morning.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. The thoughts running through his head all followed this similar pattern. His right hand was painful to move, but he had to find something to pick this lock with. His eyes threatened to spill over, but he didn't allow them to. He was an Uchiha- Uchihas didn't cry. Then again, they didn't stand in the middle of the hallway trying to bash down their boyfriend's doors with their fists either, but crying was just crossing the line.

He'd found something, something in his pocket. A hairpin? Something like that anyway. Fuck it, who cared? It was wire and sharp and could pick fucking locks. Even if it was a hairpin, who the fuck cared? It was common knowledge he was as gay as a… very gay thin- oh fuck it! Why was he even thinking this? Pick the fucking lock already.

Naruto stood in the kitchen. Dimly he registered that Sasuke had stopped shouting. Maybe he got bored and went home. The knives glittered in front of him, and he remembered something that he'd promised a long time ago. But it was to Sasuke, and if Sasuke didn't love him, what was the point in keeping it?

He drew the sharpest knife he had.

The irony suddenly hit him- Sasuke had bought this knife. He claimed that if he was ever going to eat here then he needed a cooking knife. The raven haired sophomore was quite a cook, it turned out, and whenever he stayed here he…

Why was he thinking this? Sasuke didn't, couldn't, shouldn't love him. Sai had shown him that, with his all too enlightening speech about how Sasuke could have any girl (or guy) that he wanted, so why should he choose Naruto?

And why indeed? He'd pondered this for a long time and come up with the conclusion that the beautiful boy must have been dating him out of pity. It was only pity that could force someone so perfect to choose a marred, ugly piece of scum like him. Only pity… only pity.

That was the mantra he continued as he watched the rivulets of blood flow down his arm to the clean tiled kitchen floor.

*****************************************************************

"Damnit…."

Blood ran in a small stream down his chin from where his teeth had worried away at his lip. The hairpin twisted in the door, but it still didn't open. Sasuke almost collapsed in despair, his eyes damp. But he wasn't crying. He couldn't be crying. For the sake of anyone who cared, he hadn't cried since Ita---.

Whatever. He hadn't cried in a while.

The lock clicked, he was inside. Leaving the oak door wide open, he sprinted down the hallway, following the only sound he could hear in the desolate apartment. A soft, pathetic sobbing, and it was coming from the kitchen.

Crashing through the painted white door, he skidded to a halt. Obsidian eyes overflowed as he saw his Naru, his dobe, his angel, lying on the floor. His face was red and sore, his eyes streaming, his wrists bloody. The raven braced himself on the door and hung his head. Drops of salt water brushed his bare feet and the polished wooden floor. Uchiha's didn't cry. But the sight of the blonde lying in a pool of blood and tears would've hurt anyone with a soul.

Using his sleeve to wipe his eyes, the Uchiha scooped up his lover bridal style (how ironic after the dobe had just kicked him out) and lay him gently on the queen sized bed. 'Big enough for two' was how Naru had described it to him, and he couldn't bear to think that he may never sleep beside his angel again. Brushing these thought aside, he hurried to the bathroom, taking a first aid kit out from under the sink. Finding antiseptic and bandages, he almost ran back to the bed. Carefully he cleaned and dressed the cuts that mingled with older scars, and laid the blonde's wrists back down upon the bed. Pushing the blonde's hair back from his forehead, he nearly turned away when he saw that tears were still spilling out from the bright blue eyes.

"Away… go 'way…. Uchiha…"

"No."

He couldn't pull himself away even if he wanted to. Even if he was ordered to. Goddamnit, if hell's army rose up from the dead and tried to drag him away, he'd kill all of them before they disturbed him and his dobe.

"Go to sleep, Naruto. We'll talk about it when you wake up."

"Don't… tell me… what to do… teme…"

At this, Sasuke almost smiled. The fact that the idiot called him teme meant that it wasn't his own anger that fuelled him to kick him out. When Naruto was truly furious at him, of his own reasons, he only called him Uchiha. When something or someone else triggered his anger, he would only call him Uchiha when he remembered.

The object of his attention was almost fast asleep by now. Pulling his hand away from the cerulean eyed boy's cool forehead, the raven headed towards the kitchen. Staring at the mess on the floor, he grimaced. Stepping gingerly towards the cupboard, he took out a mop and bucket. Bending down to pick up the offending knife, Sasuke felt a sting of hurt course through him. He'd bought Naru this knife, as a sign that he trusted him as well as to cook with. And the fact that he bought it to cook with was a sign that he wasn't fooling around- Sauske only ever cooked for himself and his family.

Sighing, he dropped the knife in the sink, the empty clash barely registering in his mind. Filling the bucket with water, he began to mop up the solidifying blood on the floor. Before he was done, he poured a glass of water and collected some iron tablets. On an afterthought, he collected various vitamin tablets, and some fruit juice. God knows how much blood the dobe had lost, but he was going to need iron and vitamins and stuff like that. Hell, he may need more, but Sasuke wasn't a doctor, and his angel would kill him if he contacted a hospital or a doctor.

But he would never give up on his angel.


	2. Chapter 1

**Look, for people who've never read my stuff before, let me get this straight.  
I DO NOT UPDATE VERY OFTEN.  
Usually. If I have enough ideas, then sure. But I need both ideas and motivation. Motivation hasn't been thin on the ground with all you lovely reviewers, it's just ideas. And GCSEs. Mainly GCSEs actually.  
But I WILL try and update this more regularly . I'm really sorry guys, I know it's been ages.  
Anyway, some more for y'all.  
-Apothecary.**

_____________

Click, click, crack, click, click.

Sasuke's back protested as he stood up and stretched. Downing the remains of his fourth cup of coffee, he stumbled back to the kitchen, eyes bleary. He'd been up here since midday yesterday; it was probably about 7 am now. But he needed to make sure that Naruto would still be there, still be awake, breathing, alive, and he couldn't make sure of that if he himself was asleep. So he'd stayed awake, relying on determination and coffee to make sure that his angel slept soundly through the night.

The kettle screamed and he was back in reality. The fifth cup of (instant, horrible, usually wouldn't drink) coffee was made, and he padded back to the bedroom. His feet were cold despite the thick carpet, and he shivered slightly.

Naruto was murmuring in his sleep, and he quickly checked his temperature, placing his hand on his lover's forehead. Feeling that it was normal, he sighed and relaxed, taking a long gulp of steaming coffee, wincing as it burned a trail down his throat. Rubbing at his tired eyes, the raven sat back in the all too temptingly comfortable chair, thinking as fast as he could to keep himself awake. He often found it difficult to do anything but concentrate when he was thinking about things, so sleeping was pretty much out of the question.

But this time it wasn't working. He was too tired, too excitable, too caffeinated, he needed something to do. Then suddenly, an idea struck him. Pacing quickly back to the living room, he stood on a chair and pulled a dusty, heavy box from the top of a bookcase. Looking inside, he grinned. This would be perfect.

--------------------------

"Shhh, shhh baby"

The soft arms enveloped him, and the baby Naruto had a feeling like he belonged. Smiling, he looked up at the person who was holding him, laughing. More than one voice joined in with his childish laughter, and he clapped his small hands together happily. It was a nice moment, not one that should be interrupted.

But it couldn't last, and he felt a surge of alarm as he was pulled away from the warm soft arms into bony, grasping ones. A nervous laugh sounded from above him, along with the words

"Sorry, it's getting a bit late, I should probably…"

The sentence trailed off as he was walked briskly out of the warmth of the sitting room towards the cold, stark light of the kitchen. He was set down on the counted top, and bit his lip- he knew what was coming next. Staring up at the woman in front of him with beseeching eyes, he silently begged for mercy. But in vain

"You insolent, spoilt little brat! This evening is all about your FATHER, I told you that a million times before! It is not for you to spoil! You need to learn some manners! I know he won't teach you, he's too kind and soft, but I sure as hell will."

The slap resounded off the linoleum floor, filling the kitchen with sound. A red mark began to form on the fat, childish arm where the sleeve had been rolled up, a hand print clearly visible. Naruto bit his lip to prevent any tears from slipping out- he knew that this only made it worse. The second and third slaps followed in quick succession, stinging his already sore flesh. After that he lost count, but he knew that it must have been longer than usual as the temptation to cry was much greater than it had been previously. Stifling his childish sobs, he looked up at his mother with big, beseeching bright blue eyes.

"Stupid brat, don't you dare look at me like that! How could anyone ever…

… love you?"

Sai's voice now rang out, the scene in front of him merging into what had occurred earlier that day. Naruto felt himself grow from a child sitting on the countertop to a lanky teen, back-pack slung over one shoulder and weighed down with books. Sai's taunting face stared back at him, cruel and questioning.

"Well, answer me. Or is that beyond your intellectual level?"

The teasing wouldn't normally have bothered Naruto, he would have laughed it off and punched Sai on the arm. But it was the statement before that had left him speechless, grasping for words in his seemingly empty mind and finding nothing near a reason. True, those words hadn't been said to him since he was a baby, but still, they held their resonance. Why would anybody ever love him? It didn't make sense. He was loud, obnoxious and irritating- everyone said so. Especially Sasuke, so why was the perfect raven-haired boy bothering to waste his time on someone so obviously… inferior?

Sai was tapping his foot impatiently, rolling his eyes. Naruto gulped and looked up, feeling helpless. He couldn't give a reason, and both of them knew it.

"Though so."

The pale boy said, looking him up and down.

"I mean, god, Sasuke's got people like Sakura running after him. She's the most sought after girl in the whole of Konoha, let alone this university! He could have anyone, and he knows it. So why pick a…. why pick you?"

With that thought, Sai had left him, and what a thought it was. Naruto had trudged slowly back to his room, and had locked the door. It was there that Sasuke had stood, his fists crashing on the hardwood, begging for his loved one to come out.

----------------------------------

Soft whimpers pulled Sasuke back from the hardwood box. Placing it, along with its contents, on the floor, he looked up, rubbing his eyes. Naruto was turning in the bed, his eyes screwed up, fists clenched as if in pain. Shaking his head, trying to rid himself of sleep, Sasuke jumped up. Stepping briskly towards the side of the bed, he sat down upon the orange duvet cover and held the blonde's hands in a tight but gentle grasp. It wouldn't do for the dobe to hurt himself while he was sleeping.

The bandaged arms bulged, Naruto using nearly all his strength to try and pull himself away from his persistent boyfriend. It didn't work- he was asleep, after all. The fact was that, in this circumstance, Sasuke had more power over him. Finally, he stopped struggling, and settled for twisting and turning his body, trying desperately to escape something.

Sasuke paid nearly no mind to this, having had to this various times on other occasions before, until the doe started talking in his sleep. There were muffled words, sometimes nonsensical, but some so startlingly clear Sasuke's eyes widened in shock.

"know…can't love me…. Sakura… perfect….Sasuke…"

Sasuke reeled in shock. Someone must have told the blonde something really convincingly to think that Sakura had anything to do with life. For gods sake, it wasn't like Sasuke himself was even bisexual, he was gay. Sakura was alright looking, but more in a "Oooh I want to borrow those straightners" kind of way. Clenching his teeth, the raven made the same vow he'd made countless times that night. When he found out who had done this to his Naru, they were going to pay.


End file.
